Wednesday, May 14, 2014

In to the Wild

     Firepaw returned with a chaffinch gripped firmly between his teeth. He dropped it in front of Tigerclaw, who stood waiting in the hollow.
     "You're the first one back," meowed the warrior.
     "Yeah, but I've got loads more prey to fetch," Firepaw mewed quickly. "I buried it back-"
     "I know exactly what you did," Tigerclaw growled. "I've been watching you."
     A swish of bushes announced Graypaw's return. He was carrying a small squirrel in his mouth, which he dropped beside Firepaw's chaffinch. "Yuck!" he spat. "Squirrels are too furry. I'll be picking hairs out of my teeth all evening."

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Erin Hunter's Warriors, In to the Wild, Chapter 11, page 130
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     As much as reading about cats is fun, In to the Wild is not a well written book. The language is simple and boring. Hunter tried to make his story interesting and mysterious by only giving parts of information at a time, but it sounds like it was written by a fourth grader. I wrote stories like that when I was in fourth grade.


    Quickening his pace, Firepaw entered the camp gripping a chaffinch firmly between his teeth. He did not want it to fall and some ferocious animal snatch it up. Once he was inside the hollow and near Tigerclaw, he dropped his catch and waited for some acknowledgement.
     "You are the first warrior to return," Tigerclaw meowed.
     "Yes, but that is because I have gathered much prey and thought it would be best to bring it into camp now. I have buried the rest-"
     "I know exactly what you did," Tigerpaw interrupted. "I have been keeping close watch over you."
     Firepaw tensed. He knew Tigerpaw did not trust him, but the idea of him being stalked was nerve wrecking. He quickly tried to recall his steps to see if he had done anything Tigerclaw should not have seen.
    The tension was lessened by the bushes swishing back and forth announcing Graypaw's return.  In his mouth was a small squirrel, which he released next to Firepaw's catch.
     "Yuck!" he spat. "Why do squirrels have to have so much fur? I'll be picking hairs out of my teeth all evening."

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